Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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