Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
