broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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