Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
