everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize