well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
