these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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