She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
