I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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