too bad you live with your parents still
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
