If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
two words: eviction party
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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