So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
