worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
