fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
