Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize