Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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