No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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