She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
