I love black thongs
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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