super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
