Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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