im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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