if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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