My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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