omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
