Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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