: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The adults are the big ones right?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
