Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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