How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
