I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize