no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
pray to the hookup gods
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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