worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
