ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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