i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
