I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
