I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
