i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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