ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
