My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
