yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
