So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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