weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
