covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
