You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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