Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
