he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
