Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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