Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We got so high we made milksteak
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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