Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize