He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
