You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
