Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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