dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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