Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
