haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
