Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
