You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
