Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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