Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
