It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize