a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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