Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
