I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
