1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my liver is dry heaving
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
