Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
