i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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