I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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