THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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