addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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