her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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