we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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