Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
