I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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