Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
