My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
